Today my new nephew got his two-month shots. I planned on being there for my sister during these events. I was planning on driving her to doctor appointments when her partner was at work, holding her baby while she slept or showered, making her family meals and tidying up their home so she and her partner could rest. However, none of these things are possible right now, as we are in the middle of a global pandemic. I feel helpless, sad, and frustrated which got me wondering what my sister and other new parents must be feeling during this time.
Welcoming a newborn baby into your life is a challenge and an adjustment. Throw a pandemic into the mix and this challenge becomes something completely different.
Even those who have already been through the challenges of caring for a newborn are faced with brand new circumstances and barriers that are completely unfamiliar. Living through COVID-19 is stressful and anxiety-provoking for most of us but new parents are facing unique
obstacles. Fear of contracting or exposing their newborn to COVID-19 combined with social distancing and self-quarantine measures put new parents’ mental health at risk.
Caring for a newborn and trying to keep your mental health in check amid a global pandemic is a battle not many of us are typically faced with. Below we will dive into the unique challenges that COVID-19 places on new parents as well as tips and resources for new parents to get through this unfamiliar time.
Challenges Facing New Parents:
Little alone time with your new baby
If you planned to spend your maternity/paternity leave connecting with your new baby one-on-one, with little distractions, this plan has likely been uprooted. Those who expected older siblings to be in school or in daycare are now faced with caring for and entertaining multiple children. Quiet mornings that consisted of feeding your newborn while laying peacefully in bed may now include other small humans jumping, playing, and seeking your attention.
Little or different social support
Friends and family are likely not coming by to talk and provide support during this time. Those mommy-and-me classes where you planned to meet new parents and make new friends are no longer an option. Your neighbours who you planned on having play-dates and talking about the challenges of parenthood with are not available for you to lean on. But there are alternative ways to seek social support. Read on.
No breaks and limited time for self-care
Being in close corners with children and your partner(s) can limit “me” time and the opportunity to take care of yourself. Additionally, little space and time to yourself can create increased conflict and irritability.
New parents who may not have another adult in their home to help out or if that other adult is working from home, will have little breaks throughout the day. Pre-COVID new parents could invite a friend or family member over to hold their baby while they took a shower, had a nap, or made something to eat. Now new parents are either learning how to do everything with one hand or skipping the shower, nap, and meal altogether which we know can be a burden on our mental health.
While making meals to bring to new parents is a common way that family and friends can provide help and support, this may not be possible or wise with social distancing regulations in place. Some parents may not feel comfortable ordering takeout, or takeout may not be in the budget anymore. Thus, new parents may be left cooking for their families every day of the week, which many of us know takes a lot of planning, energy, and time.
Tips and Resources:
Lean on others
In light of COVID-19, many businesses and programs have gone virtual. Join an online support group. Sharing your experience and connecting with others who are feeling similar to you can provide comfort. Find a list of support groups that are offered through Postpartum Support International.
Call or text a support line when you are feeling overwhelmed. Try Pacific Post Partum Support Society.
Take advantage of online therapy options. Many therapists are offering telephone and video sessions. You can book a session while the little ones are asleep. Worried about privacy? You can download a free white noise app through the App Store and place it by your door. You can go to your car or sit in the backyard during your session. Don’t have 1 hour a day? Book a 30- minute session. Even a short amount of time to process your feelings and emotions with a therapist can greatly benefit your mental health.
Book daily or weekly check-ins with your friends and family. There are so many video chat platforms that are free to use including Zoom, WhatsApp, FaceTime, and Skype.
Practice self-care
I know we hear this all the time but it’s because it continues to be such an important topic. Time for self-care is vital for our mental health especially for new parents and moms who are at risk of developing postpartum depression. A few minutes to care for yourself is important and can make a significant difference in your mood and mental health. Some small self-care techniques include:
Admire the cute dog walking by, look up at the sky and watch the clouds pass)
Self-care looks different for different people so I encourage you to explore these practices and others to find what resonates with you.
If you are a new parent I urge you to be gentle with yourself during this challenging time. Don’t let pressure from friends, family, or social media make you feel like you are not doing a good job. Be kind to yourself, you are facing a unique challenge that not many people are facing.
If you are reading this and know a parent who may be experiencing some of the challenges outlined above I encourage you to check in with them. Whether it is through a window, a screen, or a phone call, tell them you are there for them and that they are doing an amazing job. Try to actively listen to them and don’t focus on solving their problems. Many new parents don’t need advice as much as they just need someone to listen.
Written by: Stefani Trovato, M. Psy. Candidate, B.A.
Edited/Reviewed by: Dr. Stacy Lekkos, C. Psych
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