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Caring for a New Baby and Yourself During a Pandemic
Stefani Trovato • June 5, 2020

Today my new nephew got his two-month shots. I planned on being there for my sister during these events. I was planning on driving her to doctor appointments when her partner was at work, holding her baby while she slept or showered, making her family meals and tidying up their home so she and her partner could rest. However, none of these things are possible right now, as we are in the middle of a global pandemic. I feel helpless, sad, and frustrated which got me wondering what my sister and other new parents must be feeling during this time.


Welcoming a newborn baby into your life is a challenge and an adjustment. Throw a pandemic into the mix and this challenge becomes something completely different.


Even those who have already been through the challenges of caring for a newborn are faced with brand new circumstances and barriers that are completely unfamiliar. Living through COVID-19 is stressful and anxiety-provoking for most of us but new parents are facing unique

obstacles. Fear of contracting or exposing their newborn to COVID-19 combined with social distancing and self-quarantine measures put new parents’ mental health at risk.


Caring for a newborn and trying to keep your mental health in check amid a global pandemic is a battle not many of us are typically faced with. Below we will dive into the unique challenges that COVID-19 places on new parents as well as tips and resources for new parents to get through this unfamiliar time.


Challenges Facing New Parents:


Little alone time with your new baby

If you planned to spend your maternity/paternity leave connecting with your new baby one-on-one, with little distractions, this plan has likely been uprooted. Those who expected older siblings to be in school or in daycare are now faced with caring for and entertaining multiple children. Quiet mornings that consisted of feeding your newborn while laying peacefully in bed may now include other small humans jumping, playing, and seeking your attention.


Little or different social support

Friends and family are likely not coming by to talk and provide support during this time. Those mommy-and-me classes where you planned to meet new parents and make new friends are no longer an option. Your neighbours who you planned on having play-dates and talking about the challenges of parenthood with are not available for you to lean on. But there are alternative ways to seek social support. Read on.


No breaks and limited time for self-care

Being in close corners with children and your partner(s) can limit “me” time and the opportunity to take care of yourself. Additionally, little space and time to yourself can create increased conflict and irritability.


New parents who may not have another adult in their home to help out or if that other adult is working from home, will have little breaks throughout the day. Pre-COVID new parents could invite a friend or family member over to hold their baby while they took a shower, had a nap, or made something to eat. Now new parents are either learning how to do everything with one hand or skipping the shower, nap, and meal altogether which we know can be a burden on our mental health.


While making meals to bring to new parents is a common way that family and friends can provide help and support, this may not be possible or wise with social distancing regulations in place. Some parents may not feel comfortable ordering takeout, or takeout may not be in the budget anymore. Thus, new parents may be left cooking for their families every day of the week, which many of us know takes a lot of planning, energy, and time.


Tips and Resources:


Lean on others

In light of COVID-19, many businesses and programs have gone virtual. Join an online support group. Sharing your experience and connecting with others who are feeling similar to you can provide comfort. Find a list of support groups that are offered through Postpartum Support International.


Call or text a support line when you are feeling overwhelmed. Try Pacific Post Partum Support Society.


Take advantage of online therapy options. Many therapists are offering telephone and video sessions. You can book a session while the little ones are asleep. Worried about privacy? You can download a free white noise app through the App Store and place it by your door. You can go to your car or sit in the backyard during your session. Don’t have 1 hour a day? Book a 30- minute session. Even a short amount of time to process your feelings and emotions with a therapist can greatly benefit your mental health.


Book daily or weekly check-ins with your friends and family. There are so many video chat platforms that are free to use including Zoom, WhatsApp, FaceTime, and Skype.


Practice self-care

I know we hear this all the time but it’s because it continues to be such an important topic. Time for self-care is vital for our mental health especially for new parents and moms who are at risk of developing postpartum depression. A few minutes to care for yourself is important and can make a significant difference in your mood and mental health. Some small self-care techniques include:

  • Add essential oil to your shower (if approved by your doctor)
  • Light a candle while you take a bath
  • Listen to your favorite song while you cook
  • Step outside for 5 minutes and take in nature (listen to the bird’s chirping, watch the leaves swaying in the wind...live in a concrete jungle

       Admire the cute dog walking by, look up at the sky and watch the clouds pass)

  • Write down 3 things you are grateful for


Self-care looks different for different people so I encourage you to explore these practices and others to find what resonates with you.


If you are a new parent I urge you to be gentle with yourself during this challenging time. Don’t let pressure from friends, family, or social media make you feel like you are not doing a good job. Be kind to yourself, you are facing a unique challenge that not many people are facing.


If you are reading this and know a parent who may be experiencing some of the challenges outlined above I encourage you to check in with them. Whether it is through a window, a screen, or a phone call, tell them you are there for them and that they are doing an amazing job. Try to actively listen to them and don’t focus on solving their problems. Many new parents don’t need advice as much as they just need someone to listen.


Written by: Stefani Trovato, M. Psy. Candidate, B.A.

Edited/Reviewed by: Dr. Stacy Lekkos, C. Psych

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The problem with blue light specifically is that it has shown to stimulate the brain in areas that are active during alert day hours, disorienting the body’s natural preparation for sleep. Furthermore, blue light suppresses melatonin production (the hormone that makes you sleepy) and elevates cortisol (the hormone associated with stress ). Mariana Figueiro, PhD., found that two hours of screen time before bed displayed a suppression in melatonin levels in the brain (Figeuiro et. al., 2011). In fact, even when our eyes are closed, we have photo-receptors all over our skin that absorb light just as our retinas in our eyes would. Thus, having screens on anywhere around our sleeping areas is problematic. Tips to manage blue light exposure: Setting a screen time curfew Wearing blue light protective glasses Turn on blue light blockers on devices, i.e. phones and computers (f.lux and Nightshift are recommended for iOS users and Twilight for android users) Instead of watching TV, movies, or YouTube before bed, listen to a podcast or audiobook with the screen off or on sleep mode. Ensure your room is completely pitch black at night, with no lights on, curtains closed, and any technology still on should be covered. For those of you who sleep with a light on, it’s recommended to buy a red light for your bedroom. Not only do these look cool but red light on the visible light spectrum has been shown to have little to no effect on both melatonin and cortisol levels. This is hypothesized to be due to the fact that humans have evolved sleeping by fire throughout human history (Stevenson, 2016). Caffeine Consumption Before getting into what you can do to manage your caffeine consumption, let’s take a simplistic look at what caffeine actually does to the brain that impacts our sleep. During normal functioning hours, the brain slowly accumulates a chemical called adenosine that binds to receptors to slow down brain activity and make you feel tired. The longer you are awake, the more tired you feel. Where caffeine comes into play is that it is shaped very similarly to adenosine and it binds to brain receptors. When these receptors are blocked by caffeine instead of adenosine, this tricks the brain into thinking it's not tired. Caffeine has a half-life of about 6-8 hours. A standard cup of coffee has roughly 150g of caffeine in it. What this means is that after about 6-8 hours there is still about 75g of caffeine in your system. Therefore, the timing of your caffeine consumption is just as important as the quantity. With this being said, the best strategy involves setting a caffeine curfew in order to reduce the amount of caffeine in your system by bedtime. It is recommended to cut out all sources of caffeine approximately 8 hours before bed. This includes coffee, caffeinated teas, espresso, or any other source of caffeine. Change Your Mindset in Regards to Sleep Although the other two points mentioned will probably apply to most readers, this one was the most influential point towards improving my sleep. I associated sleep with a negative outlook, specifically with loss of time. I knew through research and extensive thought that if I was going to improve my quality of sleep I was going to have to change my mindset. That isn’t the easiest task, especially when you spend years of your life thinking you dislike something. Some things that I did that helped me with this was reinforcing my why . The more I thought about why I was addressing my sleep, the easier it became to desire wanting sleep. Once I slowly worked towards this, I found that my anxiety associated with loss of time began to reduce and I was able to associate sleep with a positive mindset. Meditate Mindfulness is the act of becoming aware in the present moment, without judgement. The practice of mindfulness through mindful meditation can provide an opportunity to create mental space at bedtime and to help you feel more relaxed. Mindfulness can also help you to cope with negative thoughts surrounding sleep and to help you shift your focus to your body and to be present. This technique is easily accessible by downloading free apps or using beginner guided sleep meditation videos on YouTube. Other Minor Tips to Improve Your Sleep Journaling is an excellent release before bedtime, especially if you are an over thinker. Letting out the thoughts on paper and getting them out of your head will allow you to focus more on sleep and less on what’s on your mind. Invest in a good mattress. As mentioned earlier, we are going to spend about one third of our lives sleeping so why not ensure that we get the best sleep possible? If you are not in an ideal financial situation at the moment, perhaps investing in a proper mattress isn’t realistic. For you, I suggest buying a memory foam topper or just a mattress topper. This is an inexpensive way to improve sleep quality. Sleep and wake at consistent hours. Our super complex yet lazy brain loves to work off of routines so do your brain a favour and go to bed and wake up around the same time. This will make the process easier on yourself and will make you less likely to give up from frustrations of not being able to accomplish what you set out to. Do not, and I repeat do not, do any work or eating or anything in your bed besides sleep. The brain works off of associations so don’t confuse your brain into thinking your mattress is an office, movie theater, or a kitchen table. This is just the beginning when it comes to ways to improve your sleep, as solutions often depend on one’s specific sleep challenges. However, trying any of these tips can be beneficial as improving our sleep is crucial to improving our physical and psychological well-being. Best of luck on your sleep journey and sweet dreams. Written By: Erik Michalik, M. Psy Candidate, BASc, Edited/Reviewed by : Chantal Legere, M. Psy References Figueiro MG, Wood B, Plitnick B, Rea MS. (2011) The impact of light from computer monitors on melatonin levels in college students. Neuro Endocrinol Lett .; 32(2):158-63. PMID: 21552190. Stevenson, S. (2016). Sleep smarter: 21 essential strategies to sleep your way to a better body, better health, and bigger success . New York, NY: Rodale Books. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels
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Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a widely used approach in mental health care that focuses on the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. It may offer individuals valuable tools for managing stress and anxiety. By exploring how these elements interact, CBT aims to help people understand and modify patterns that contribute to their distress. The importance of managing stress and anxiety cannot be overstated, as these conditions can significantly impact overall well-being and quality of life. CBT addresses these issues by helping individuals recognize and change negative thought patterns and behaviours. Through cognitive restructuring and behavioural activation, patients can work on altering unhelpful thinking and engaging in positive behaviours. Cognitive restructuring involves identifying and challenging distorted thoughts, while behavioural activation encourages participation in rewarding activities to counteract depression and anxiety. These methods may empower individuals to handle challenges better and improve their mental health. Understanding how CBT can be integrated into personal care routines may benefit those seeking to enhance their psychological well-being. How CBT Addresses Stress and Anxiety Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) offers valuable strategies for addressing stress and anxiety. By identifying and challenging negative thought patterns related to stress, CBT helps individuals recognize how these thoughts can contribute to their stress levels. Techniques such as cognitive restructuring aim to change these stress-inducing thoughts, while behavioural interventions work to modify the behaviors that often accompany stress. For instance, someone overwhelmed at work might learn to break tasks into manageable steps and develop healthier work habits through CBT. When managing anxiety, CBT can be particularly effective in reframing anxious thoughts. Through techniques like exposure therapy, individuals gradually face their fears in a controlled manner, which can reduce anxiety over time. CBT sessions often teach coping strategies and skills that help individuals manage their stress in various situations, such as deep breathing exercises or structured problem-solving. The benefits of CBT for stress and anxiety include a better understanding of personal thought patterns and the development of effective coping strategies. This approach may offer long-term relief from stress and anxiety by equipping individuals with the tools to handle their challenges more effectively. Consulting with psychologists in Toronto can provide further insights into how CBT may support personal mental health goals. Consulting with a Psychologist Consulting with a psychologist for cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can provide valuable support in managing stress and anxiety. During your first CBT session, you may discuss your concerns and goals with the psychologist, who will work with you to develop a treatment plan. This plan may include strategies to address negative thought patterns and behaviours contributing to your stress and anxiety. Finding a qualified psychologist in Toronto, such as those at Toronto Psychologists, can be a crucial step in accessing effective CBT. In summary, CBT may offer significant benefits for managing stress and anxiety by providing a structured approach to understanding and changing unhelpful thought patterns and behaviours. If you are considering CBT, consulting with a psychologist may be a helpful next step in finding personalized support and exploring how this therapy can work for you.
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Let’s put something into perspective here: each day consists of 24 hours. Of those, it is recommended that each person sleep approximately eight hours per night. According to these numbers, we spend one third of our entire lives asleep, yet for some reason the majority of us are choosing to ignore the importance of this inevitability. Sleep alone can improve our stress , memory functioning, alertness, mood, immune system, hormone functioning, and weight, to name a few. There are no quick fixes or super pills anyone can take for instant success but sleep is truly one of the closest natural aspects we can improve on in order to benefit almost EVERY aspect of our lives. So what can we do to improve our sleep? Define Your Why A recurring theme when deciding to make changes in our lives is defining our ‘why’. Any meaningful action requires meaning or purpose for it to be achieved. No matter how complex or simple it is, when you have a reason to do something, you are more likely to actually follow through with it. Remember to remind yourself why you want to focus on this area of your life. This will be particularly important when the going gets tough or if you fall victim of your previous routine way of functioning. Remember, meaningful change (in this case, sleep) does not happen overnight. Limit Blue Light Exposure Cutting out screen time before bed is one of the most effective ways to improve sleep quality. However, I’m fairly confident that most of you reading this will end the last moments of your night on a screen, whether it's a phone, computer, iPad, or the television. Throughout human evolution, humans evolved to be awake when the sun was up and to fall asleep when the sun went down. The problem with blue light specifically is that it has shown to stimulate the brain in areas that are active during alert day hours, disorienting the body’s natural preparation for sleep. Furthermore, blue light suppresses melatonin production (the hormone that makes you sleepy) and elevates cortisol (the hormone associated with stress ). Mariana Figueiro, PhD., found that two hours of screen time before bed displayed a suppression in melatonin levels in the brain (Figeuiro et. al., 2011). In fact, even when our eyes are closed, we have photo-receptors all over our skin that absorb light just as our retinas in our eyes would. Thus, having screens on anywhere around our sleeping areas is problematic. Tips to manage blue light exposure: Setting a screen time curfew Wearing blue light protective glasses Turn on blue light blockers on devices, i.e. phones and computers (f.lux and Nightshift are recommended for iOS users and Twilight for android users) Instead of watching TV, movies, or YouTube before bed, listen to a podcast or audiobook with the screen off or on sleep mode. Ensure your room is completely pitch black at night, with no lights on, curtains closed, and any technology still on should be covered. For those of you who sleep with a light on, it’s recommended to buy a red light for your bedroom. Not only do these look cool but red light on the visible light spectrum has been shown to have little to no effect on both melatonin and cortisol levels. This is hypothesized to be due to the fact that humans have evolved sleeping by fire throughout human history (Stevenson, 2016). Caffeine Consumption Before getting into what you can do to manage your caffeine consumption, let’s take a simplistic look at what caffeine actually does to the brain that impacts our sleep. During normal functioning hours, the brain slowly accumulates a chemical called adenosine that binds to receptors to slow down brain activity and make you feel tired. The longer you are awake, the more tired you feel. Where caffeine comes into play is that it is shaped very similarly to adenosine and it binds to brain receptors. When these receptors are blocked by caffeine instead of adenosine, this tricks the brain into thinking it's not tired. Caffeine has a half-life of about 6-8 hours. A standard cup of coffee has roughly 150g of caffeine in it. What this means is that after about 6-8 hours there is still about 75g of caffeine in your system. Therefore, the timing of your caffeine consumption is just as important as the quantity. With this being said, the best strategy involves setting a caffeine curfew in order to reduce the amount of caffeine in your system by bedtime. It is recommended to cut out all sources of caffeine approximately 8 hours before bed. This includes coffee, caffeinated teas, espresso, or any other source of caffeine. Change Your Mindset in Regards to Sleep Although the other two points mentioned will probably apply to most readers, this one was the most influential point towards improving my sleep. I associated sleep with a negative outlook, specifically with loss of time. I knew through research and extensive thought that if I was going to improve my quality of sleep I was going to have to change my mindset. That isn’t the easiest task, especially when you spend years of your life thinking you dislike something. Some things that I did that helped me with this was reinforcing my why . The more I thought about why I was addressing my sleep, the easier it became to desire wanting sleep. Once I slowly worked towards this, I found that my anxiety associated with loss of time began to reduce and I was able to associate sleep with a positive mindset. Meditate Mindfulness is the act of becoming aware in the present moment, without judgement. The practice of mindfulness through mindful meditation can provide an opportunity to create mental space at bedtime and to help you feel more relaxed. Mindfulness can also help you to cope with negative thoughts surrounding sleep and to help you shift your focus to your body and to be present. This technique is easily accessible by downloading free apps or using beginner guided sleep meditation videos on YouTube. Other Minor Tips to Improve Your Sleep Journaling is an excellent release before bedtime, especially if you are an over thinker. Letting out the thoughts on paper and getting them out of your head will allow you to focus more on sleep and less on what’s on your mind. Invest in a good mattress. As mentioned earlier, we are going to spend about one third of our lives sleeping so why not ensure that we get the best sleep possible? If you are not in an ideal financial situation at the moment, perhaps investing in a proper mattress isn’t realistic. For you, I suggest buying a memory foam topper or just a mattress topper. This is an inexpensive way to improve sleep quality. Sleep and wake at consistent hours. Our super complex yet lazy brain loves to work off of routines so do your brain a favour and go to bed and wake up around the same time. This will make the process easier on yourself and will make you less likely to give up from frustrations of not being able to accomplish what you set out to. Do not, and I repeat do not, do any work or eating or anything in your bed besides sleep. The brain works off of associations so don’t confuse your brain into thinking your mattress is an office, movie theater, or a kitchen table. This is just the beginning when it comes to ways to improve your sleep, as solutions often depend on one’s specific sleep challenges. However, trying any of these tips can be beneficial as improving our sleep is crucial to improving our physical and psychological well-being. Best of luck on your sleep journey and sweet dreams. Written By: Erik Michalik, M. Psy Candidate, BASc, Edited/Reviewed by : Chantal Legere, M. Psy References Figueiro MG, Wood B, Plitnick B, Rea MS. (2011) The impact of light from computer monitors on melatonin levels in college students. Neuro Endocrinol Lett .; 32(2):158-63. PMID: 21552190. Stevenson, S. (2016). Sleep smarter: 21 essential strategies to sleep your way to a better body, better health, and bigger success . New York, NY: Rodale Books. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels
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